Special Ed Kids-Mentoring Journey

School year is in the full swing. Kids were finishing up their summer vacations just a month ago and it means that this week has been a new start to a mentoring program with a special ed kid. I started mentoring a kid from an elementary school about two years ago. A decision to join mentoring program through my job was a way to give back to the community, to interact with kids in public schools and to be a role model. Those were all the requirements of the program. It would only take thirty minutes of time on the weekly basis but we were told that we were making a difference.

At the beginning, I could not believe how thirty minutes per week could make a difference for those lower income kids who go through so much even during the early stages of their lives. Little I would know that by joining a program I have made a difference in my own life and that I’ve learned from my students more than I could have imagined.

I had an option to choose a kid from 1st to 6th grade and I am not even sure why I decided to mentor a special ed kid. It might be out of curiosity or it might be because I like challenge of learning something new that I have never done before. It might be because that tiny voice inside me was telling me to do so. I will never be certain but my journey was special and reflection was unbelievable. Some of those lessons I will be caring for life with me and I will never forget my experience and the way it helped me grow as a better person.

Here are three lessons I have learnt from my mentoring session:

Appreciation

Lots of special ed kids come from unfortunate backgrounds and troubled families. They are diagnosed with some sort of learning disability. Most of the time they do not have a stable family support. Most of them are coming from a single parent families and they move from school to school which makes it harder for them to pass their curriculums. Unlike, their fortunate and wealthy peers who are plugged into private schools, lower income public school kids simply do not have that option in their arsenals. That is may be why there is a higher sense of appreciation when they get a chance to have a mentor who cares about their success.

They appreciate those moments and I have started seeing a progress in their learning abilities. At the beginning, there was a trust building period but over period of time each session has become a fun experience. Sometimes things as simple as social adaptiveness is tough for those kids. It can be unusual for them to receive that extra attention. I started thinking about my own life as a kid and how fortunate I was to have caring parents. I started putting appreciation to my priority list daily. When there are “bad” days I am thinking that I have to appreciate of what I have. That what keeps me going.

Kindness

Above all, I have learnt that most of those kids will be kind to you if you gain their respect and trust. There is a protective mechanism which is intuitive for them. It can be tough for them to gain trust with you as their mentor. It is a normal behavior as those kids are not given away anything for granted. All students at the public school I was mentoring at were wearing same uniforms every day. I think it is a good system because abilities of kids are not based on who wears the latest clothing trends, or new backpacks every other school year. Once they see you as their role model, you can win their hearts forever. They will look up to you and will be waiting for you to spend time with.

The courtesy of my little girl was feeling my heart with positive emotions and good thoughts. Sometimes, I see kids around who can be very rude to their parents, peers, and strangers. I was happy to see my little girl “thanked me” after each session and was very polite. As challenging as it can be at times, kindness to everyone despite of their status, wealth, abilities, age, or any other criteria is a must practice for me.

Hope and Big Plans

One day, I asked a girl I was mentoring, “What were her big dreams?” You would expect like any other girl her age to answer of being a doctor, an actress, a teacher or any other profession a little girl can dream of. I was pleasantly surprised because I had never encountered that type of answer before. It was a very adult like answer and it seemed like she was burdened so heavily with her future responsibilities. Her biggest dream was to buy a new house for her mom. That is what she talked all about-a new home for her mom.

Those kids know that one day they will have to become “providers” for their families and they will work hard to buy that new house. She also dreamed about going to college and of getting a stable job. She did not know what job but she only knew that she wanted a “stable job” because she was planning on buying a new house for her mom. How incredible and selfless it is, is not it?! She was putting her family at the top of the list. Not that many kids at the age 11 we will dreaming of getting a stable job and buying a new house for their moms.

What I have learnt from my mentoring session at the lower income public school and spending time with special ed kids that those kids are also needing a hope for a better future.

Then, I was passing a private high school on my way back home from work and seeing brand new cars of wealthy kids parked in the parking lot . At that moment I thought to myself that my little girl would be just fine. If I had a brand new car in high school, or I would say any car at all, then how I would have anything to look up to in my life. How I could have dreamed of buying my own car, my own house and being an independent woman on the rise of my career. I remember the time my little girl told me that I always dressed up nicely and she assumed I was rich. That was such a naive question and I reassured her that she could do it too. She can work hard and will be able to buy a new house for her mom when she is my age.

Thanks for reading my blog post! Have a wonderful week ahead!